I acknowledge the concept that all women gain weight during pregnancy. However, I must respectfully decline your attempts to move in to my neighbourhood permanently. While I do appreciate you opting not to show your face around while I was pregnant, you bold move to pile in 30+ lbs as soon as my son was born was both insulting and annoying. While over the years we have been decent frenemies, I just cant stand you anymore. Please meet my new friend Weight Watchers, she's here to take your place, and kick your ass to the curb. infact, in the 4 days I have known her, she has already managed to shed 3lbs of you. While I am at it, I will be adding your cousins- college and teen weight out on their asses as well. I hope you all have a nice dominion of hell to go to together.
PS- please inform Matt's sympathy weight that WW if coming for it too- Incase they are wondering where that 7lbs of them disappeared to.